I feel like I’m just getting carried away here. That no matter how hard I try I’ll never reach that goal. It just can’t be the way I want it to be. I just can’t accept that. My stomich is churning. I feel like throwing up, and it’s hard to breath…I’m powerless and I hate myself. My body trembles and I know this feeling all to well. The feeling of wanting something that’s…out of my reach…Almost every night of my life has been like this. I was so close to that dream of mine. But I could never reach it and every night was torture. But now it seems like I can actually look at it head on and that alone makes me so happy that I’m satisfied. But in the back of my mind a voice keeps replaying “If you touch it you’ll get hurt”. But I still try my hardest. Because maybe…If I try my hardest and give it my all..I might even…be able to reach…it. No, How can I think that?! There’s an infinite gap between all of this. But…it’s because now, I…

I can’t reach…No matter how far I stretch out my hand…But…if I stood up? I’d be…a bit closer to that star. And if I walked? Just a few steps? If I took a few steps towards infinity…then what’s left? It doesn’t change…does it. It doesn’t change…It doesn’t change.

But still…just seeing that smile on her face…makes me want to reach as far as I can.