Given the real thing, and an indistinguishable fake, Which is worth more? Naturally, most persons response would be the real one. But it can most definitely be presumed that they have equal value. And a third party can even state that the fake is of far greater value. In its deliberate attempt to be real, it’s more real than the real thing fake. Which party seems to be more in the right? Or is this a conclusion we cannot ever agree upon?

The theory of fundamental evil? When I was a high school student, I learned the theory of fundamental good. It was a conept developed by a Chinese philosopher named Mencius. He proclaimed that humans are born fundamentally good. But if the theory of fundamental good is an ideal, then the theory of fundamental evil is simple realism. Desire lies at the core of human nature. And humans are ruled by these desires. That was a less tactful theory…said by a man who claimed people are born evil instead. Thus if a person does good, that is not their true self, but a lie. That was the theory. It would end up being a lie, a fake, and due only to hyporisy. And thus, by definition deliberate. All good is thereby hypocrisy, and therefore, it constitutes a deliberate attempt to be good. This is but a game that I often talk to myself about. Pondering for what feels like an eternity.

My boss told me that he thinks I’m on the fence between insanity and genius. That that’s how it is. Genius borderlines insanity. And it kind of makes sense. In many aspects. The truth is something that will never be known to normal people. I’m not claiming I know it either but it’s still very easy to see that this world is built upon lies. But no one has enough drive to pursue what little truths are out there. And those that do find things that are hard to explain. Therefore they are called insanse or crazy. So does genius mean you found a truth that other people neglect to understand? And on that note, what if those that find truth go insane from the gravity of what they’ve found, heard and/or read? Albert Einstein was quite the genius. And the things he came up with probably seemed ludacris at the time. But now we see how incredible he really was. Did he find something along his thoughts? He’s an inspiration to me if anything. Genius and insanity. There’s most certainly an incredible connection that I just cant fathom. But what will become of me the day I grasp this concept? Considering that day ever comes…

Why is it that we try and show ourselves in a postive light? Why is it that we try so hard everyday to have others like us? Why? When people finally like you, you want to be alone? Why is it that…I want to be spoiled by someone. I want to be drawn to something soft. I want someone I can share my secrets with. I want people to see my true self. Or do I not want them to see? That’s why…I’m sad, this is what I really think.

Nothing will change. Weak humans will always be weak, no matter how long you wait. But weakness is not always a bad thing. Humans are weak creatures from the start. Uneasy by ourselves we form frienships and families. In order to thrive we bind together and progress forward. These awkward combinations might run into more walls than would a single person. And we might take a long time to get where we’re going. but as long as we believe in tomorrow and put one foot in front of the other we will be filled with power from within. Living a strong life means being able to smile!!

I can except ANYONE for who they are. I don’t care if you’re retarded or brilliant, whether you’re insane or plain. No matter WHAT or WHO or HOW  a person acts or is, I see how they are and understand immediately that it’s just how they live. But me…I can’t be myself for anyone. I shift my personality, my train of thought, my attitude and my energy to match theirs so nothing is stirred, so no one feels uncomfortable and no one feels tension. I will never be myself around anyone. I just don’t feel like there’s anyone who will understand who I am. 

Everything changed when i saw you

from black and white into color i became

 

and it was so easy to love you so much

something i never imagined was giving my love with one look

everything shaked/ trembled inside of me

the universe wrote you were for me

 

and it was so easy

to love you so much

something i never imagined

was to lose myself in your love

it just happened

and i am already all yours

 

before spending more time with you, love

i have to say you are the love of my life

before loving you more

listen, please

let me say that i gave you everything

and there’s no way to explain or see this

i just felt it

 

when i saw you

everything in you surprised me

from black and white into color i became

 

i know it’s not easy to say I love you

I was not expecting this either but love is like this

it just happened and i am already all yours